Special Person

I've met someone yesterday that was part of a huge impact on me as a child growing up. Although, I could not express this this to them nor my family, I had found myself in the brink of crying for joy. You see, I did not have a typical childhood, nothing in the early stages of my life could be any far from normal. It would take a series of books to explain my insane childhood.

This person, doesn't know that for briefs moments of my life, that I was safe. Safe from the chaos surrounding me. They kept me from becoming insane. This role they played, assisted me to see that good can conquer evil. It just takes time and the will to fight to live each day to get your original happy ending. It was therapeutic for me. 

My kids, kept looking at me crazy cause I couldn't stop talking about this person. They could not even image the darkness I've been living in for a very long time. That's what any parent wants, to make sure their kids are safe.  Although my friend had an idea of what I could be feeling, even he had no clue but hugged me in comfort anyway. 

This special person will never know the joy he has brought me. I'm not even sure where to scratch the surface with this. I thank the people who make an impact on others and have no idea how much they do. Such as teachers, writers, film directors, artists, your next door neighbor, etc. 

Keep doing what you do best and help others face their worse fears each day.  You are making a difference. 

New Beginnings

New beginnings can go either way, a lesson learned or suck big time. As for me this time around, its a breathe of fresh air. I'm no longer stuck in the darkness. Felt like I may never come out of it. I have learned plenty of lessons these past 10 years. Know what I no longer want or need in my life. Feel tied down and unable to explore as much as I like. I'm a curious person, need to touch, taste, examine. Remember exactly who I was before the chaos walked into my life. Self reflecting, seeing the parts of me I hate, love, and need to improve on. From there I will be able to move on and continue to grow. 

Grateful, I can still love as I mend my shredded heart. Grateful, I'm not bitter. Maybe a little jaded but that was before the 10 years. Life has always been difficult for me, changing that little by little. Staying away from everyone that doesn't deserve my time. Able to see my past and be happy of the person it made me to be. Working on thinking positive again, see the silver lining, Almost lost myself completely, scary. Remembering things I always liked to do such as dancing, going to my poetry readings, reading in a cafe, less t.v., really enjoy my oldies with glass of vino, walking around downtown just for the fun of it. Little things I have forgotten about myself. Never will I again let this happen, stopping giving too much away. Opening a new book, forget the chapter.

Working on myself to enjoy life and stop to smell the roses. 

New beginnings, can suck, but not this time around, I'm enjoying finding the magic in me again.

Kissing my past Goodbye!!